Artificial Insemination

Even though I live in Texas, a state with probably a billion head of cattle, it wasn't until I came to Whidbey Island in Washington State that I learned how to artificially inseminate a cow. 

First you need some cows.... 

....and you need a team.

 Bob, David, Analee, and Doug

  Our team consisted of Doug (Hobart's dentist), David (Doug and Hobart's friend and Hobart's fellow retired United Methodist minister), Bob (the veterinarian), and Analee (Doug's 83-year-old mother).  Doug-the-Dentist was the head of the team because he's the one who owns the cows.  David was the chute opener, closer, and cow-head clamper.  Analee was the herder and corral gate opener and closer.  Bob was the inseminator.

 David, friend and retired minister

Doug, the dentist and cattle owner

 Bob, the vet

Analee, Doug's 83-year old mother

While Bob explains to Hobart what he is going to do...

...Doug is picking out a cow.

His mother...

...and David...

...help herd it out of the pen and into the chute.

Then David, with Doug's help, clamps the cow into place. 

There now.  The cow is ready.  I think Doug is telling her to relax--it will be over soon.  

Now Doug has decisions to make....I think concerning which bull sperm to use.  There's a lot of scientific information to consider, but I wasn't listening very carefully.  I was too busy taking pictures.

Then the serious part!  If I had really thought about it, I might have gone back to the car.  But I bravely stood my ground and watched.

First Bob-the-Vet puts on this long glove that covers his whole arm.  (Big clue as to what is coming!)  

He then steps into the chute behind the cow and his arm disappears into the cow!  I'm not sure what happens in the next few minutes, but it involves a long tube instrument and some gentle protest mooing from the cow.    

(Hobart took this picture.  He was trying to reserve some dignity for the poor cow...but you get the idea.) 

So one down, and dozens more to go.  We chatted with the team and then left to go have lunch. 

Lunch?.........MEATLOAF!